Twenty sixteen was a year I long anticipated for ever since I was in grade 9. like any other high school student i couldn’t wait to go to varsity where I’d be independent by that i meant not having a curfew,not constantly being told what to do, leaving my annoying baby sister and being a step closer to my dreams. I had a clue on the amount of responsibilities i’d have when i’d be living alone because i have lived without my parents for 3 years and without mom for more than that, so i wasn’t worried about that.
Fast forward to the year 2016, In January results came out I passed with a B, Yeey!, but now i had to worry about getting enrolled to varsity and i wanted to go to Cape town no matter what. In the first week of January i packed my bags and traveled to Cape town for school hunting but first i wanted to explore the city. the first few weeks were OKAY. It was nice in Cape town but i was here for school so i got very frustrated and stressed out when i wasn’t getting any response from CPUT and the living situation was a nightmare during the day and a peaceful storm by night ( trust me i made no mistake here). As days went by things got worse i got sadder and sadder every minute but i could still smile and say “I’m good” and act like everything was okay when i was dying of misery inside. My smile wasn’t so pretty anymore course i was forcing it and every time i looked in the mirror i didn’t recognize the person i saw it was not the goofy,crazy,happy and positive me i saw a sad person whose shine was being overshadowed by negativity.
I was slowly starting to exist(when you live without any purpose) and I was becoming this sad person i couldn’t stand.throughout the midst of this FOUR things kept me strong,which are
- Faith I believed that God gave me this life because he knew I can handle it and what doesn’t kill me can only make me stronger. I had faith in God and in his promise for me.
- I wanted me back – This probably sounds weird to you but I missed me,I missed being passionate, strong, happy, free and playful so i made it my daily top priority to do whatever it takes to bring her( the me i knew) back. I prayed harder ,every morning or time i passed by a mirror I’d stop and stare then name at least 3 different things i love(d) about me and i started being kind to myself and being positive. That is when things looked up and life got way better,speaking of “law of attraction”.
- Great support system without my friends and family I do not know where I’d be because they were always there for me and prayed with/for me. even though they were going through their own challenges they were there for me.it’s so nice to know that there are people who genuinely care about your well-being as much as you care for theirs.
- My dreams I was not going to give up my dreams and my future so much has been invested in it.
2016 was a beautiful nightmare for me (and my family), my year of revelations and growth.I went from being a nice strong girl to an emotionally and mentally mature and strong woman (for my age course I’m still a work in progress).here are some of the things I learnt about me in 2016:
- I am not a victim (of circumstance) I am VICTORIOUS. I know this sounds a little bit cheesy but being a victim means you have no choice and/or no control over that situation therefore you are forced to give in, I refuse to surrender to any situation i will rise above it even if it takes me a long time because i have the greatest weapon my mind and attitude.
- To be grateful – being grateful of the things I have,people in my life and challenges I have been through keeps me humble and taught me to value life.
- I am strong AF
- I am my biggest fan and worst enemy
- Perseverance – God’s timing is perfect and good things are worth the struggle and wait.
- To live – a purposeful life and to be kind.
Whatever you going through do not give up ,God made a promise to be with you and he has great plans for your life believe that and know that his word never go back to him without doing what it was sent to do. Someday you will look back and be thankful for this struggle. In J Cole’s words “don’t sleep on your level course there is beauty in the struggle”
Love TEY
Tey's diary 
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